This post is a very practical examination into why you think
you are trying in your relationship but things aren’t just turning out as you
hope they would……….you don’t want to read just half way; make sure you read to
the end.
I have taken time to study why relationships fail especially
among the young and middle aged population in the whole earth and I discovered
that there are things we do not take into consideration before getting into a
relationship or even before choosing a partner but these things form the
foundations of a sound/healthy relationship; And just like a building, if the
foundation is laid wrongly then the building is susceptible to crashing down at
the slightest encounter with a great storm or any force of nature.
Therefore, I have decided to provide you with this piece to
enable you “…count the cost” before delving into any relationship. So read
in-between the lines for maximum understanding.
1
. Create Friendship: Before you can date
or marry someone, make him/her your friend first as this gives you room to
understand one another- know your strengths, weaknesses, likes and dislikes and
even health status. Once you know each other very well, it will be easy to
decide the next level to avoid regrets and the likes of it. Some people meet on
social media platforms and after a few days of texting they could decide to
meet and after just one date, they are in a relationship. Already? Such
relationships never last a year…..or have you seen any?
Knowing and understanding your spouse is
the flavor of a healthy relationship so take your time to be friends before
going any further.
2
. Decide whether You Can Trust: Trust
issue is the reason people break up without even being able to explain why. We
humans have a lot of insecurities and they sometimes play with our head then
create fear in our hearts so we become afraid of what isn’t even there.
(Once, my baby sister was preparing for a
beauty pageant, about a week to the day of the contest, I saw a movie and in it
was a girl who was also in a beauty pageant and as soon as she qualified for
the final round her closest friend who was also in that competition tried to
poison her but was caught by the chaperone of the other girl. This caused fear
to rise in my mind and I texted my baby sister the next morning advising to
quit the competition…) LOL!! Funny, it is but this happens in our
relationships. When you see some certain things and we begin to imagine it
would affect us. So to be on a safer
side, during the friendship stage, decide if your prospective spouse is
one who you can trust no matter where, what or how things are…….instead of
unnecessarily picking a fight from time to time based on your fear and
suspicions.
3
. Define why You Want the Relationship:
Some people want to get into a relationship without even knowing
why….Really? You should be able to ascertain whether and why you need to be in
a relationship before even approaching your prospective spouse for their
consent. You should be able to answer
questions like: Do I want this relationship? What can It contribute to my life
and career?
Once you can answer those questions, you
should be able to know whether or not to move on to the next check……….
4
. What is your major driver? : For every relationship, there are three
major drivers- money, sex and love.
70% of the relationships in this current dispensation is based on the second
which is SEX, while 20% is based on MONEY and regrettably, only 10% is based on
true love which is the most solid kind of relationship. If you don’t know what
is driving you into a relationship, you are most likely going to end up in the
wrong relationship.
5
. Are you two compatible? : Compatibility
is a state in which two or more things are able to coexist or perform together
in combination without problems or conflict. If you are not compatible with the
person whom you are choosing to be in a relationship…. Mehn!! You just walked
into a disaster because you will find it hard to tolerate, talk to or even love
them. You better be sure the both of you fit in together before taking the
bait.
A Relationship is a complicated institution you don’t have to rush yourself into it when you are not sure what you want.
Comments
Post a Comment